I've never been diagnosed BP, but that's prob due to my own denial and not being able to truly confide in my T. I have a lot to learn about BP and it's many variations, but right now I'm tripping out on how my experiences line up with u folks on this thread. I'm gonna be honest: I really don't want to be BP...I am finally coming to terms with being a Depressive after 20 some years...and now it's maybe more than that?! Is there a euphoric mania as well as the antsy irritable mania? When I was younger (age 10 to 18 or so) my depressive episodes would often "wrap up" with an intense euphoric high feeling that I assumed was simply the happiness of coming out of my depression and once again seeing the beauty of the world. Now @ 27, since being on, and now freshly transitioned off of Paxil, I have what I always assumed Mania was: buzzing inside, racing thoughts, insomnia, fast-talk, low impulse control, and a general feeling of having too much energy for my body to contain...
Did Paxil kick me into "real" BP? Did I always have mania and just not recognize it? Wtf am I supposed to do about these feelings?
I feel discouraged that it seems there are more questions than answers out there for BP Nation...