I never thought about using the recording after I come back from la la land. My dissociating doesnt upset me. Ive been dID all my life and so I have always Dissociated - daydreamed myself into my la la land or have "fallen asleep" and then come back either to a new day or doing something I wasn't doing when I "left". I always come back from dissociating foggy but calm. I used to think that was strange because movies and so on didn't show that side of being DID. But professionals tell me that my coming back foggy but calm is normally what happens with DID so I was not to worry about it because a person "comes back" so to speak when they are no longer upset by what ever the trigger is. If Im coming back that just means that I am feeling comfortable and no longer afrad and so on.

So the way I see it since coming back means Im not upset and so on theres no reason for me to say ok I dissociated and run in panic to my recording. I came back because I was ok not because I was in panic so no reason to create panic after the fact so to speak.

When I am alone and realize I was off floating instead of in the here and now its just another normal day for me no panic or uncomfortable feelings and so on. When I am out in public and I "come back" again its just another normal day to me. I look at my watch for the time and day and continue on with my day.

I am a bit embarrassed when I dissocaite with my present therapist, because I have worked this hard and this long and I still don't have total control. My therapist is great about it though we just continue on with whatever we were donig. for exaple when I came back from la la land after using the sand tray she was shaking down the sand tray and then we both stood and were standing. She asked me if I had noticed if I had stayed aware the who time and I told her I knew I had gone to la la land and then she told me we're heading back to her office to schedule my next appointment and then we just continued with doing that.

Since I use the recording when I am upset, in panic, and so on and dissociation does not cause me to feel anything but foggy and calm I have never thought to grab my recording to listen to my therapist after dissociating.

I do use focusing on my therapist during sessions if I start feeling far away but that is before I get to the point of full dissociation to prevent myself from dissociating which to me is different from being dissociated and coming back and then using the recording. So for me theres no reason for me to focus on my therapist after coming back - Im already back and have the effects of dissociation - relaxation and calm - and am able to go on with my day.