Your therapy should be the biggest thing in your life but it is not the biggest thing in your therapist's life!

Another person, no matter whether they are a therapist or not cannot meet our needs; that is our duty to learn to get our needs met. Everyone is in charge of their own life; us, doctors, therapist, lawyers, kindergarten teachers, construction workers, accounting clerks, WalMart clerks.

But what we want is not the same as what we deserve or is right or wrong or any judgmental thing you are putting yourself through. Were I you, I would accept that you want your T; remember some of the things you wanted when you were little; maybe to fly or be a mommy (having no idea whatsoever what that entailed) or to eat all the candy/dessert you wanted, how about if you have ever daydreamed about having a million dollars? Those are all symbols. It's like dreaming at night and dream symbols; we have to figure out what the symbols, our symbols (since they are in our heads, created by us/for us) mean.

It sounds like maybe you are driving yourself crazy being too literal?