the idea of being a little kid again makes me feel uneasy. I have fragmented, vague memories from 12-15 and almost nothing prior to age 12. I just have no desire to be that uncertain, scared, fearful, timid little person who has really no say or control of what goes on in their world. Cause that's what I do remember or feel when I think about childhood. There are times where I feel "little" and wish someone of a motherly figure could re-do what I think I missed out on and I do wish T could sometimes fill that void but it's usually outside of session when I have those feelings. In session I'm hiding behind of facade...keeping calm and neutral.....