Hi y'all. I'm fairly (read: really) new here and some of my symptoms have got me scared. My docs think I have bipolar (not really specific about the type, but I haven't been seeing them long) and have put me on Abilify, which has taken care of 90% of everything.

The one thing that has me truly worried is one of my symptoms coming back. I cried the other day when I though about how it made me feel.

The last time I had a really bad episode (bad for me, anyway, which as I understand was on the light end of the spectrum), while my mind was racing and part of me wanted to touch people and be all over people and cheat on my boyfriend, the part of me that I consider to be me (as it is how I am when I'm normal-feeling and depressed), is saying "no, don't do this. This is scary. I don't want to be here. I want to go away and I don't want people to see me like this." The scary part is, I can't act on those feelings. The feelings of needing to be around people and doing things and standing on tables and such is so strong that it overpowers everything except those feelings of being trapped.

I just wanted to get that out there and see if anyone else has ever felt anything like that.

If it helps, I also have some paranoid/anxiety leanings that should go away given time and space.