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Apr 08, 2012, 10:33 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2010
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 237
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aslan
you probably annoy her as much as she annoys you, shes the one
with the problem, you said it yourself you can hear everything,
moveout find somewhere else to live, because shesnot any of your
business.
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Thank you to all of you that are understanding where i am coming from i appreciate your words of support and advice. I don't understand how anyone can fault me for wanting to have peace in my own home. "I am compassionate but at same time i'm sick of being the scapegoat and i'm sick of not being able to have peace in my own apartment." I don't understand how i am the bad guy. Asian, you said i probably annoy her and that i should just move because she isn't my business. I don't know why you would say that, you almost sound like you’re angry at me for venting about this on here. I thought this forum was for people who are having problems and want advice and/or support. Well i thought it would be ok for me to vent on here because this issue is causing me great stress and i already have major depression and anxiety and several physical illnesses. My blood pressure has soared to 230/120 even though i was taking 2 meds for it. I don't see how anyone can get mad at me for complaining, i didn't ask for this harassment. That is what it is. I do realize that the girl probably needs some help and has some kind or illness or disorder but that doesn't excuse her behavior or her parents for letting it go on. She is not mentally challenged she is aware of what she is doing. If you read my posts she gets extremely loud whenever i am trying to rest or sleep. If i turn the tv off she will start stomping and dropping things and hollering as loud as she can. Every morning when she wakes up she starts tapping and when she hears me putting on my earphones and popping a cd in and laying back down she then gets louder and sounds like she’s going to come through the ceiling. Clearly she is doing this to annoy me and to keep me from having any peace or any rest. What other reason can there be? That is just being mean. As i said she started harassing only me because they heard me complain about the noise she was making. Ever since then she has focused her attention on me, trying to annoy and provoke me. Maybe she does have some illness but trying to drive me insane is plain mean and its wrong. I think she’s angry and frustrated and taking it out on me because she can. Her parents should be telling her to stop and explaining to her that it’s wrong and if they have to remove her from the room that’s what they should do. Just because she may have a problem doesn't mean they cannot enforce rules and discipline. You can't allow a child to do whatever they want to especially when they are disturbing or harassing other people. I am a paying tenant. They rented the apartment to me and my boyfriend, we pay rent and i should be able to sit at home and not have her continuously making noise over my head wherever i am in the apartment. Becoming fixated on a person and following them around is called stalking. I am not the problem and I’m not the bad guy. I will be moving eventually but for now I have to stay where I am it will take a while for me to move, I can’t just move out next month. I don’t feel like I need to go into detail about why I can’t pickup and move right away. The point is when you have neighbors you have to be considerate. I have been a considerate neighbor. We are quiet we rarely have people over, we don’t have loud parties or make a lot of noise. Sometimes I play music during the day or watch tv. We don’t smoke, drink, or do drugs. We pay our rent, and I always make sure I turn the tv down after 10.00 pm. I don’t have a big loud tv and my tv sound is not even the greatest. I have it down to level 3 after 10:00 and by 11:00 I put it on mute. I grew up in an apartment building and my mother taught me how to be considerate and respectful of others. So I don’t know what I could be doing to annoy her other than just existing. Clearly she doesn’t like me (probably because her mother doesn’t like me and she probably talks about me to people in front of her, or maybe she talks about me to her), but so what if she doesn’t like me. You don’t have to like people but you need to be considerate and respectful. They don’t teach her anything and I don’t think they even know that is how you are supposed to be. I really don’t think they were taught manners or right from wrong. They do things that are inconsiderate themselves but expect us to obey all their rules. To respond to some of the advice you all have given, I don’t know where she goes to school. They take her to school and it is a private school I think. Lately though she has been home a lot. They must tell her not to make any noise or talk while she’s home so that I won’t know she’s there but she can’t help it. She still taps on the floor and follows me around. So I cannot tell the school since I don’t know where she goes. If I call social services and they come to the house they will look for signs of abuse or neglect and they will see none. They may talk to her and she will sound normal and intelligent and answer all their questions just fine. They will leave and that will be it. The people that work for children services are overworked, they have too many cases per caseworker and they don’t have the correct training or tools to do their jobs efficiently. I know this because there have been articles about it in the papers all the time. There have been big cases here where kids have died because they didn’t follow up on a case, or the case fell through the cracks. They have their hands full with serious abuse and neglect cases where the parents are drug addicted or mentally ill or just really bad parents so if they come and see the house spotless and they are all spotless and they seem like they are doing just fine, they are going to close the case and move on. It’s not going to be important to them. Plus they would need proof that she is acting strange and how am I suppose to get proof. I know what’s going on because I live here and I can hear it and I’m in the middle of it but I can’t prove it. The parents really don’t seem to know how to parent and they don’t seem to know what kids need. Someone said that it seems like she wants attention. You are right on, I noticed that and I agree with you, I feel like she is craving attention and since I get angry or annoyed and start complaining, I guess to her that’s attention. Sometimes I would talk directly to her because I know they hear everything. I would say things to try to get her to understand that it’s not right to do the things she is doing. I tried talking nicely to her to try to get her to stop. She seemed to enjoy it but she just got worse. I feel that I made things worse because she just became more obsessed and more out of control and loud. They do expect her to entertain herself and they used to have a tv and computer but for a year or more now I have not heard the tv. This is when she started to really get bad. Before she would bother me sometimes but now it is from the time she wakes up until she goes to bed. Sometimes it’s even in the middle of the night because she doesn’t seem to need much sleep. They are in the house all the time. On nice days they are in the house. The husband leaves and the wife sits in the house with her daughter. They will go out for half hour or an hour and come back and that is sometimes. With her energy she needs to be outside and she needs to get exercise. I would complain to my bf about it. I would say why are they inside all the time why don’t they take her out. Now she has nothing to entertain herself with so I can sort of see why she is acting the way she is. However, I still don’t think I should have to put up with her behavior. I think they need to stop her from harassing me. If they have to switch rooms and keep her out of theirs, they need to do something. Ignoring it is not going to work on her and I can’t ignore it. I have some information about a place they can go and seek help for children with emotional or behavior problems, it is a place for families, they would get support. I am looking for different articles that explain that sometimes you have to seek help and that it is not a bad thing and doesn’t make you a bad parent. However, I don’t know if it would help. I think the mother would get angry and I doubt they would follow through with it. I am also thinking of just going to them and saying we need to figure out how we can live in peace together. But I feel they will act like they don’t know what I’m talking about and deny any problems. So I am thinking of things to do and I will do something. I don’t know if a lawyer would be able to help me either because again, I would need proof that I’m being harassed. I wondered today if they just want us out and are trying to make me miserable enough to move out. I know the wife is not happy that I’m not working. She mentioned to my bf that I should go to a new store opening up and apply for a job. I am on disability. She has complained about the electricity and water bill because they are included in the rent. She has been ranting and raging for a while and seeming to complain about everything I do and I wondered why until my bf told me what she said and I put 2 and 2 together. Well I wish I wasn’t on disability too. My life is mess right now and I’m trying to hang on by a thread. I don’t even want to live. I hate waking up. That’s what I’m dealing with and so to have this going on too is just not what I need and it is really stressful and making me miserable. I don’t think I deserve this and I don’t think I should be looked at as the bad guy. I feel I should be able to have peace in my own home.
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