I have a lot of regrets.... and I know my life would be a lot better had I made other choices. I regret gaining so much weight, self esteem is shot to hell. I regret not being with an ex. It's been like 8 years since we broke up but I'm still not over him. I've only had one boyfriend since then. I regret letting my life and depression get this bad. Ironically I regret having that ex I can't get over, we were together right after HS graduation and through college. I was so wrapped up in him, I didn't take time to make friends and enjoy dorm life. I had no friends in college.... I still have no friends. I constantly dream about being back in college and living in the dorms.....
.......please excuse me if my thoughts seem all over the place... because they are...

I am alone.... and it's my fault