maybe this is shallow, but i feel like as long as i'm in the house with my parents, i cannot do what i really want in life, i cannot be who i really am. i've heard many stories which are worse than mine, but i think with all my experiences with them i can no longer function well. my father beat me up badly before, even threatened me that he would cut off my ear while holding scissors and i also experienced being shouted at in the middle of a compound while it was about midnight and he threatened me with a knife.
my mother, who i discovered last 2010 is not my real mother, i always received tounge-lashing from her. maybe it's nothing for her, but i can no longer stand it. now that i always feel irritated and tensed up for a reason i do not know, i always answer her back which puts me in trouble.
do i have the right to feel like this? i just feel imnot free. i want to live my life happily, but i cant because... im afraid?
uhm, i have financial problem and i do not know how i can pay my school accounts and get enrolled for next school year... so i do not know also how i could start. ive tried working but i messed up because i couldn't concentrate well and anxious in public. please give me some advise. thank you.