Hope you are feeling better today Prue...I know EXACTLY how you feel. When I was 12, I decided to stop believing in God because I couldn't handle the anger I felt at a God who would allow such horrible things to happen to good people. I still struggle with hope and faith to this day...but I learned to target that anger at god to actual targets, like poverty, child abusers, and men who like to beat up women...and joined movements to combat those very real enemies. Doing good is the best way to fight evil, and you're never gonna be able to change God or God's Plan ( whatever that is), so find something you can change, or someone you can help, and act on that...one step at a time hon