Dear Fresia, thanks for sharing such personal issues.
They are real & not to be minimized. I also live by "what will be will be".
That doesn't make you hurt & grieve any less.

When people say things like "why aren't you with someone" it is a question but they probably mean it as a compliment. But, don't realize how this hurts so deeply & how it impacts your life. You probably know all the polite come back lines for these situations.

Now that you have opened up here, is there a friend, family member or clergy you could confide in? If you see a T consider discussing your pain & saddness so s/he can help you sort this out. There is nothing wrong or weak with letting yourself cry. But you are right about figuring something out. When grief & saddness consume your every thought, it's time for guidance outside your own head/heart.
Don't know if this helped, just know you were heard & we care.

Wish the best for you,
Chaotic