Thank you so much everyone for the hugs and for your kind words Chaotic! Truly, thanks.

You're so insightful about this being an indication that it is time to get it out and to talk about it with T. I thought this was something that I had moved past but by never really dealing with it has caught up with me. I have compartmentalized this for a long time hoping that the future would make a different path; this is not the path I saw for myself. I have an appointment this week and hopefully I can be brave enough to talk about it in person. Worse case, I may print that post off for her to read to get things going so I don't back down because keeping it bottled up is clearly not working. There was some relief in sharing, so thank you again for listening y'all. Perhaps this was the first step to healing and with T will be the next.

Big hugs to all.