****possible trigger for mention of drugs, CSA and sui feelings******

this past week has really been nothing short of hell,leaving us feeling like we are about to fall right over the edge and not come back. aside from all the flashback/flooding that went on,the following morning we wake up to a text from our friend saying the SWAT team was at the hotel where we currently live. Cores husband had called earlier on his way to work and said there were close to 14 cop cars there but didnt know why. We dismissed it only because the hotel has a very high drug rate and there are always cops there for some reason. But the text really scared us and she said it was all over the news so we turned it on and sure enough it was. We poked our head out the door and were met with 5 cops screaming at us "get inside right now!". One of our primary CSA was an NYPD and so all law enforcement is a huge trigger not to mention all the screaming going on. Once that drama was finally over we about collapsed. Yesterday there was a huge brawl at the room 2 doors away,very very bad. We watched someone robbing someone else,saw a drug deal go down right in front of us with the f****er who stalks cores 8yo son. Youd best believe we are moving out this weekend but right now we are just so very overwhelmed and feeling defeated and having thoughts of ending it all. We would not ever do it but the thoughts are very intrusive right now. we are asking for any encouragement and hugs anyone can possible spare thanks so much♥