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Irreplaceable · Apr 09, 2012, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by moremi

Yes it happens to me all the time. The smallest thing can cause me to want to just end it all. If I yell at my kids or I disagree with my husband all of a sudden I feel Im unworthy to even be alive and death seems like an easy fix. Sometimes nothing is wrong and I just see an opportunity and think about it but would never do it. Idk why buy yes and its disturbing.

Exactly...You know how people like to have those conversation where they sit you down and tell you how much of a f*** up you are, or what you did wrong, or how horrible it is that you did this or that? Or it could be a more mild conversation. Well, as I sit there and listen silently looking straight ahead (which bothers him to no end), thoughts run through my mind. Bad thoughts. Most of the time, they are completely harmless, but the thoughts are still there. My fiance argues worse than a woman. He does. He almost pushed me over the edge one day because he wouldn't stop talking. If I tell him to give me time to cool off and walk away, he will still talk. He will follow me around the house and won't stop. I had it one day. I did something really stupid to myself in the midst of his on going rant and he called me crazy...I didn't care...At that moment, I just wanted it to be done and over and I didn't care about the outcome. Guilt and everything else. Yes, I know it's not healthy...That was the only time I almost took it there in the midst of something...For the most part, I zone out and tune him out, which, again, he hates. It's my cooping mechanism...