It's a learning process, can only happen a little at a time (or you'll obviously get overwhelmed :-) Trust your defenses, as you work they will let stuff through you can handle and let you know (like dreams do) that there's still stuff to work on, etc. but they are excellent and won't let too much through. The only way too much can get through is if you are denying/stuffing all and it becomes too much; think "dam" (as you have) and how one of those breaks? There has to be controlled run off to get hydroelectric power and everything to work the way it is supposed to. Eventually it will all be known/controlled by you instead of the water itself, LOL.