Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
Thank you all for sharing some of your details with me.
A lot of the time, if I think about it, I simply think maybe I deserved it, I lived through it, I am not that bad off, and I should just get on with my life and stop this incessant whining, and should stop being so freaking weak about the whole thing. None of the detail I remember is all that bad.
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I lived through it is my current excuse. I lived through THAT, so THIS must not be so bad.
I actually catch myself thinking of this...often.
My best therapist gave me homework. In seven days' time, I was assigned to make a list of WHAT I WAS TOLERATING
I thought, gee......I am living through some things, so they must not be so bad.
Proof positive that therapy is worth doing, if only to get one thinking about the onerous stuff that's being tolerated, ...that shouldn't be.
Part of my spring cleaning is to stop "living through" things and start thriving, enjoying, appreciating...you get the point.
The point is: some of us who have "lived through" such awful things...sometimes have a tendency to tolerate abuse...and to minimize that abuse when talking about our lives...even in therapeutic settings. I do thank my old therapists who urged me to get past the "robot" stage or the "joking" stage when talking about the violence in my family of origin. Now, because of therapy, I'm MUCH less likely to accept abuse in other settings, be they work or relationship areas.
But it was hard going for a long long time.