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I'm a rapid cycler too...And I think that this is why I, like yourself now, at times don't care about changing my mood. Either because I don't have the energy or I'm being aloof or I know that my mood will change anyway in another few hours. If not, by tomorrow I should be "ok". I just let it take over. Depening on where I'm at mentally when I feel like this...
If you're a rapid cycle, you should be fine...Should don't beat yourself up or get too depressed. Just the thought alone of impending responsibilities and or doom is enough to send me into a whirlwin.
"i always feel guilty when i go from depressed to just fine... like, if my mental state can change just like that, then it must really not have been that bad in the first place... which logically, i know is a falsehood... "
That quote is the trickyness of this disease. Now that I have an understanding of all that is going on in this head of mine, it makes me more aware of what's going on with me, but I can't help at times to think what you quoted. The moods flipping from back and forth is confusing and plays tricks on your mind....
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Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, & Wisdom to know the difference.
To live is to suffer, and to survive is to find meaning in that suffering
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