PickleJar55, welcome to PC!

You sound as if you are currently quite stuck in the past and can't free yourself from it. I do know what that feels like. At the same time, I wholeheartedly embrace what Leed has said above. We are wasting our lives doing it rather than living in the present moment.
I've spent far too much time doing that, but I've tried to live more mindfully these days, which means being fully in the present moment and making the most of it.

I'm not saying that some of my previous regrets or insecurities are not coming back sometimes, but I try not to dwell too much on them and move on.

Joining something is a brilliant idea. I joined a social club quite a while ago, which has made some difference to my life. Yes, the gym might be great, too, especially if you want to lose weight and enjoy exercise classes.

I wish you all the best and hope you can come back to the present a bit more.

Shadow-world