yep, understand myself. it's been the same here. when you don't know it's not normal, it's not not normal. my life is never calm i guess but t's voice always is. if i am listening to the recording when i dissociate and it's still on when i come back, it's just nice once i figure out it's playing (I can't do headphones as things on my ears are a bad trigger and so it's just playing out in the air).

my t's voice is calming to me because my life is not yet safe, physically or emotionally and so when i am back, i always also come back to the realization of "unsafe". I guess that may be the difference. T's voice helps take the edge off a lot for me. I hope to get to a calm and relaxed world some day as you have.

a lot of times the only way i know i even left in t is that the subject seems to have changed, or she says, are you back now? A lot of times, I think, I was gone? and then we continue on.

im glad you are working well with your t and that the sandbox therapy is opening up doors for you.