I'm sorry for your husband and you're loss, and his other brothers. This isn't ever easy. I think you are doing the right thing, as long as it isn't too pushy, but I've read lots of your posts here and I doubt that's the case. Has he said why he doesn't want to go. I understand that this would probably mean a lot to the two other brothers as well.

I didn't go to my fathers funeral, I just couldn't do it. No amount of talking to me was going to change my mind. My sisters had to go without the support of their youngest sister. And I know this was hard for them, and they did feel am empty hole where I should have been. I tho, could not bare to go, I couldn't face the pain, and I was scared. I needed more time. In the end I am still glad with my choice, I think it was the right decision for me. But I was scared that I might regret it. There isn't going to be a do-over.

I guess I would just ask why he doesn't want to go, and maybe talk about that a bit. But if he really feels this is best, maybe it is best for him.

Again, sorry for your loss, I hope it works out, and everyone can come to peace, no matter the decision.