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Originally Posted by esman
So i live with my dad and i have a 32 year old sister (im 20) and she has a son. When she comes with my nephew over she takes my stuff and my nephew has broken numerous things like my tv, my xbox, my computer, and she will take stuff from my room and not give it back when i ask her to please stop. shes the oldest and a bully. I Cant do anything about it because my dad lets her in the house and doesnt keep an eye on things. She is a bully to him too.
I have asked my dad to please stop letting her mess up my stuff and he agrees until she shows up and he doesnt do anything about it. im going to be honest im scarred of her. shes not dangerous but intimidating.
Well today we were going to go on a trip and she insisted on bringing my only comforter to use at the beach and i told her no and she blew up and told me i cant go, my mom supported that and they left without me. Now im very distraught and just so upset, i feel like im backed up into a corner and i have nowhere to go and i cant deal with my anger i feel like im out of control and i cant stop hysterically crying. im so upset that my mom went along with it and my dad wont stop her from coming in and i just have nowhere to go. I cant deal with it. what do i do?
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Hi!
Yeah, I read the thread and I am sympathetic to your situation
The first thing is, that you can free yourself from your unhappy reactions without anything changing about the real situation - it's obvious.
You are hooking yourself into being emotionally manipulated by the situation. You don't need to make yourslef feel upset and distraught because they left without you. You can say to yourself "Boy! Am I happy they left without me! I am saved a whole day of being bullied by my neurotic poisonous sister, now I can go read a book or watch TV in peace."
Do you understand what I'm getting at? You can change how you feel, you can break the manipulative strings they have on you.
Accept that your mom will go along with the bulling , bank on it - then you won't feel upset about it and you will act realistically to deal with it when you can. You can't change them, you can't get blood from a stone, but you can change yourself and how you react to them. And when they see you more confident and find they are unable to manipulate you to make you feel upset, they may actually get scared of you and back off.
Coraline's advice is the same I would give IE
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What do you think you can do in the situation now? Can you get a lock put on your bedroom door (one your sister can't break) and lock your things in there when she comes round? Can you leave the house while she's there?
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To as to that, try to hide your really valuable things or store them with a friend.
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Probably you are hooked somehow and stay out of some sense of guilt and or obligation?
Free yourself! Walk away, go to the library for the day, and not care. Your sister likes to see you jerk when she yanks your chain - it makes her feel empowered. Don't dance for her, don't react. Just protect your stuff and shun her.