Actually Shanzy has a good question. Can you answer that question? Because as I struggle myself and did complain and even appologize, at first I didn't quite know what others could do to respond to me that was helpful/supportive. So I have to consider Shanzy's question and at least talk to my husband who is around me the most "how" to respond to me in a way that was helpful.

If you think about it, we go to therapists who are knowledgeable about whatever we struggle with and they are trained to respond to us in ways that allow us to be kind to ourselves and work on healing/overcoming/working through our struggles with MI.
But the average person? Well, they don't truely know or are trained to understand the different MI's and disorders. And people naturally consider anything that is weak or different about others to be something to try to avoid somehow. And unless a person is familiar with struggling with MI/disorders that often have a component of depression to them, they are truely not going to be able to effectively connect to it in a sympathetic way.

One of the reasons PC is a fairly gentle supportive atmosphere, is because most of the members can relate to the struggle with some kind of MI/disorder and in that respond with respect, caring and support.

If we consider that pretty much all human beings are raised to pay attention, behave, stop whining, get of your butt and pitch in, punch in the time clock do your job and punch out, here is what you are supposed to know so go do it. And lets face it as we all grow up and decide we may not want to do something I am sure most children, fake a tummy ache, head ache to try to escape a school day, test, and get attention somehow. So the average person is programed to basically "get over it and deal". And often because we all know there are lots of ways of faking illness to escape from having to do something, that is one thing many think of first about someone who is needy in some way. And the flip side is that if someone truely IS needy, they do know that others can and often do not often consider that they are REALLY struggling.

I know myself that when I truely began to struggle my family was actually pretty mean to me with a "get over it sentiment". And the more I struggled and began to learn about the reasons why I struggled, I truely felt that other people would not truely understand the depths of how I was genuinely struggling. And yes, I have depression in the disorder that ails me as well. And the truth is that most people who are genuinely suffering do feel like they are alone and will not be understood and can even feel guilty because of that, I know I do.

So, it is a mixed bag when it comes to wanting other people to respond to us in a soothing supportive manner Sophia. The truth is that unless we talk to someone else that can relate or knows the struggle like a therapist, we are going to be disappointed by the responses we get from other people.

So Shanzy does have a good question. If we don't know how we would like others to respond to us, then we don't even have the ability to try to educate the ones that DO want to respond better.

((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes