I too hope you find some peace soon.

God has never spoken to me, so he can't have lied to me.

I'm not sure if I even believe in God. I guess I'm an agnostic. If there is a God, I see him/her/it more as a life force that runs through us all. I can't believe an all-powerful being would have any interest in tormenting individuals.

I'm sorry you're suffering so much with this, but I really think you should consider the idea that this voice you're hearing isn't God at all.