I don't have these very often anymore, which I'm very very thankful and happy to say.

But today I feel like crying, and today I only lasted until noon before I couldn't keep going and have had to revert to TV and and "happy time" activities, rather than trying to find a job etc.

I'm ok, but it still hurts when this happens and it's frustrating to be held back by depression. I want to be free of it for the rest of my life, I want to be more reliable to my friends and others in my life, but I can't be reliable if this keeps happening.

I'll get back up tomorrow... I'll exercise and that might help. It's harder without gym access, and being sore + depression symptoms are making it look unlikely today, but I CAN and will tomorrow.