So, If I make it til Saturday without cutting, it will be 1 month.

The last time I cut, on march 14, was really bad. A good number of my cuts clearly needed stitches.

I was feeling really suicidal that night and talked to my T on the phone for two hours. (Contact between sessions - probably due to that night - have since been revoked )

Anyway, I'm not sure that I *want* to make it a month. I mean, I'm pretty stressed out right now, but I don't particularly want to cut.

But I don't want to reach any "milestones". I don't want anyone to have any expectations of me. I don't want anyone to get their hopes up, because I will only destroy them again. Even though I don't really want to cut right now, I feel like I should to protect the people around me.

Blegh