I cut very lightly with a knife today. I was supposed to call my T before I hurt myself. I was scared to call him. I feel like crap for breaking my promise. I don't want to tell or show my husband either because I am afraid he will get angry.

I feel like I will cut again soon and it might be deeper. That's the image in my head anyway.

I don't feel depressed at all, but I am starting to wonder if I am having another mixed episode. I usually don't know until after it is over, but those are the ones I end up cutting myself and going to the hospital. I am afraid this time.