Hi Newtus,
...
It's great that you have made a decision on this. Now maybe you have a sense that you are directing your own life, Not so helpless after all, eh!

The awareness that you have something to talk about to someone and that you are afraid is a good first step.

Maybe you have an alternative way or must prepare a foundation in yourself first.

It might feel like you are going to die, but you are probably more resilient than you think. I went through absolutely nightmarish states of mind while I was hearing voices. I had no one to talk to and was all on my own , so that made things worse. I didn't die, though that may have been the death of my personality that didn't work and the start of a new beginning for me - though I didn't get any help with that for many more years.

I didn't know you had a therapist. If you have a genuine one, all you have to do is decide to go for help, they will take care of the rest.
If you have the type that is just there to support you being on pharmaceuticals, then that's a different story. You may have to search elsewhere.

Personal Growth is something that applies to every living human being. A very large percentage of the population is not even aware there is such a thing as personal growth, let alone recognize they are deciding against it. Most people can get away without being involved in personal growth, they find some niche to exist in the world. Unfortunately there are those of us who must pay a very heavy penalty in refusing to engage in personal growth.

I went to groups for about 2 years before I starting talking and working in groups. Eventually, I decided to take a risk

"Feel the Fear and do it Anyway' - by Susan Jeffers - there is a good book for you.