Thanks for missing me, SAWE and SpiritRunner. I'm visiting my daughter and family for 2 weeks: this is the second week. There were some bad days because the other grandma was there too, and my gc stick to her like glue. They climb onto her lap and hold her hand while I'm ignored. They never want to sit next to my H or me at the dinner table. My T knows about this; it happened before. I have a different personality from her. I love the kids so it hurts me terribly and I can't help crying when I'm alone. I play with them but I can't entertain them nonstop like the other grandma.

I emailed my T about it and felt better. I've been okay without her so that's positive. I'm reading her book--Getting Past Your Past, and it's very good. I see her next Wednesday or Thursday, depending on when we get home. But she is going on HER trip right after that and I get scared when I think about it. I think the negative thought about myself is "I'm not safe," for EMDR. I'm sure it goes back to childhood. The book tells you how to work with those thoughts and feelings. It's almost like you can do EMDR yourself but the author is careful to say that if there is major trauma you need a T. Of course you don't have the buzzers or watch your fingers, but she talks about other techniques.