I've had this problem since I was 15 (I'm 23 now) but for the last 5 months it seems to have gotten out of control. Before I would get angry easily but it would just blow over in about an hour or two and leave me either feeling upset and crying or I would feel just empty. Though over the past 5 or so months it's been getting worse. Little things set me off now, like my dad coughing or even just talking to me gets me so angry and frustrated. I can feel the anger and rage just building up and building up then suddenly it just flips over into depression (although I haven't been diagnosed with it) in a matter of minutes. I feel so sad and I can't see the good in anything, I loose all interest in everything that I know I love or at least like to do. Everything seems mundane and pointless. The depression lasts about an hour then I'm left empty again. My anger, sadness and emptiness has been getting deeper and deeper as the weeks go by. When it gets really bad I feel almost insane and I loose it and end up clawing at my face a few times I have even punched my face. I also get thoughts of suicide and I plan it though I could never act on it. I'm to much of a coward and I could never leave my best friend/brother behind. I usually feel empty and bored even when doing things I know I usually like to do. When I get happy though I feel hyper, I laugh and I feel like doing so many things that I don't know what to do with myself. That's when I express my love to people. Especially to my brother. That's also when I feel like I can do things, my self-esteem goes way up compared to rock bottom like normal.
This is really starting to bother me, I lived with it before cause I could manage it on my own but now it's getting out of my hands and I don't want to loose the friends I worked hard to get. I'm afraid that they will leave me if I don't find a way to control myself.
Thank you for reading and sorry for the wall of text.
Any help is very much appricated <3