i'm reading carl rogers as recommended by this board recently. he left pretty explicit instructions for his own behavior as a leader in group, so... anyway, CE, right now I see you in the same place I was myself some years back - kind of chafing at taking the responsibility, the blame, for certain things that went wrong. The good news is, the job of therapy is not to make you pay the kitty for those old bad hands you were dealt, but to help you see how you could have played your cards differently - if you CAN really learn that? taking responsibility for past or future actions will be so much easier.