From my friends who have had alcohol and/or drug problems, the gambling and strip clubs are both just part of the addiction. And, it sounds as if he has a highly addictive personality...since he seems to just trade one for the other. Even if he manages to kick one addiction, he'll probably just trade it in for another one.

If he's not in AA or another similar program (I think this needs to happen in addition to couples therapy as this is something he needs to deal with on his own in order to make it stick), then I guess that I'm not too hopeful that a grin and bear it approach will work in the long run.

While you worry about money and preserving the family unit, your happiness (or lack thereof) will affect your children more than your financial situation. I grew up in a financially secure family with parents who didn't particularly like each other. We finally begged my mother to show my father the door. Things were harder financially, but we could finally sleep at night. I just wish that he had left sooner, to be completely honest.

I'd start planning a bit now for how you might be able to make it work without him. Even if you stay together, his issues could cause him to lose his job and any of the financial security he does provide you...then you'd be stuck with no money and a damaging relationship.

Are you close to any family that could help you get on your feet if you decide to leave?