It seems like you are looking for what the mechanics of connection are, almost like instructions that can be followed or dissected. The thing about connection is, it's hard to describe because connection is a feeling not a thought.

For me, connection to my therapist feels, intimate (platonic) it feel like i've stripped away all my defences and showed her my soul and she sees me and accepts me for who i really am, i feel i can trust her with my life and my secrets. Connection feels like we are sharing a space in time, in a safe warm bubble, she is on this journey beside me. It feels like finally reaching safety.
It feels like i've been walking around a foreign land where no one speaks my language and no one knows me because i am foreign and they don't understand my ways, and out of the crowd is my therapist who speaks both languages and guides me thru. Finally i can breathe.

Hmmm sorry if i've talked rubbish and this isn't what you're looking for stopdog.