Hello & Welcome, Robert91!
This...
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Originally Posted by robert91
i slowly seem to drift away from reality and myself and find my self a mind in an empty place.
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and this...
Quote:
Originally Posted by robert91
i have had a very emotionally difficult life, one with many pains in it. some almost unbearable...
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could easily be related. Drifting away from reality may be your mind's way of protecting itself from the stresses of the past and present.
Quote:
Originally Posted by robert91
i want to change and do everything im supposed to, but i cant i dnt know why.
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Certainly, I cannot diagnose, but such feelings and experiences are common in depression. Do you have access to any type of medical care?
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My dog
mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.