I thought about this while I was at the gym ..... one thought I had was that trying to explain connection, the whys and wherefores and whatnot of it, is sort of like trying to explain color to a person who has always been blind. How do you explain color, how do you explain it so they could 'see' it? But then, does it really matter to a blind person, if they have always been blind, whether or not they really 'see' color the way the seeing people see it? After all, they can 'see' things in a way seeing people cannot, because other senses are really developed ..... they have their own way of understanding/experiencing the world, a different way of relating to what color might be or mean, even. (speculation ...... but I do know some blind people)
But my thought is, maybe you really do see the color and don't know you're seeing it or aren't sure how to describe it because it's a weird color others don't see like you do; maybe you experience some kind of a connection and think that the way you experience it isn't like others seem to be feeling/experiencing it and so you think you don't have it. Maybe you do feel it and experience it the way that works for you, ( and with some others better than with your therapist) - not that that couldn't be enhanced, perhaps, because you do feel a lack in it.
Others here have mentioned being understood is a part of connection; it was that way for me. And not only that, but, as with T2, being understood well enough that she could peel back the next layer I hadn't quite seen (or just hadn't shared!) and be accurate about that too. Knowing that I have been listened to and heard and understood is a big part of connection to me. Understanding is an important link in effective communication ..... effective communication = effective connection.
Validation doesn't have to be a touchy-feely thing or a needy thing, either. It's just something that says, here, you are a valid person with valid concerns. It says, you are understood and accepted, and you are not broken or bad or beyond help. And you're not broken, stopdog ..... it's just that some things are harder for you to understand and that you question things and that you prefer the cleanness of logic over the messiness of emotion, whether that be because of how your brain has always worked or because of what you went through as a child or some blend of that and other factors. But you're not broken ..... nor are you beyond repair for what does hurt you still or without remedy for what troubles you .......