(((Sophia)))),

Oh yes I hear you. But here is the problem. Most people do NOT know how to reach out they way you want them too. And the other side of the scale, is most people that need help, don't know how to ask for it either. It is a sad state we are in all around.
About the only person who can even give you what you need? Well that is another person who can hear you, has been there and can sympathize. Well, guess what, have you noticed me dance around posting here? Gee, one would think I am much stronger than I am right? Or even that I know more somehow too, or maybe I am a know it all. Well, what they cant see is that I DO KNOW PAIN and I ALSO KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE INVALIDATED FOR IT. And yes I suffer too, and I reach out and offer anything I can that I have found that can help me get by.

Well, I do give a lot and what I have noticed is that often that CAN teach others to be good takers. And then when I can't give and fall down, wow, do you think that other people jump up to the plate for me? No, they want me to get better so I can go back to giving to them. Oh, gosh, sometimes one is damed if they do and damed if they don't. But there have been moments in my life when someone did give and it was then that I truely realized how important it is. Not everyone learns that and often what you are experiencing is other people who don't have much more self esteem than you do.

And yet the other thing that can happen is that a person got all they needed growing up and does have a lot of self esteem, but they lack the empathy to be able to validate your pain as well.

We sure have a mixed bag going on in this world Sophia sorry to say. Those that have enough heart to reach out like the way you need are few and far between and they often sit across from you in therapy, and sometimes they are good at it and sometimes they are not.

Somehow Sophia you have to find your way to stop picking on yourself as you say and give yourself permission to learn how to build your self esteem and that you CAN do that if you work at it. And I am not invalidating you at all by reaching out to you with this message. I believe you struggle and I believe you need support too and that you actually deserve it. But it has to start with YOU doing it for YOU. I am working on that as well Sophia, it takes time.

(((Hugs))))
Open Eyes