Bow. Stop putting all the blame on yourself. Marriage is a two way street. Maybe she didn't cheat on you, but she was probably as miserable as you were. You can'Yt blame yourself completely. I saw you put 90% 10% blame on her. Maybe that is the case for the actual affair but it isn't for the way both of you felt about each other when it happened.

What are the reasons that you ACTUALLY want to stay with her?

Do you even still love her in any romantic fashion?