This is mostly in regards to your original post in this thread.. about the camera... In all honesty, possession is 9/10 of the law. You left it behind when you went off with another woman. It was then in your wife's possession. Her decision to lend it to a friend, I believe, doesn't really count as being stolen. If your camera was that important to you, you should have taken it with you. I also got pretty hung up on the whole financial divide between you and your wife... When my fiance and I first moved in together, I couldn't work. He was supporting both of us. But that didn't change the fact that it was our home, our belongings, our money. I think sticking to this "mine v. your's" mentality hasn't helped with any healing. It's similar to putting the blame in percentage of you versus her. It can be both your faults at the same time without a specific percentage. "This is OUR problem to work on TOGETHER."

Anyways, I'm not sure how helpful that all was because these things are in the past now. I do believe you need to keep yourself safe. Even if your marriage ends, you will still have some sort of relationship with your children. It is much better to be divorced, but still there for your children, than to not be around at all. What's more, is you don't know what the future holds. I think your wife was just being responsible in protecting herself and her children, especially since it sounds like she isn't working, although she may not have gone about it in the best way. I think it's important for you both to continue therapy to better yourselves, but you are not responsible for her actions, only your own. Try to take care of yourself. Get help and start your healing. Even if she doesn't come around, you will be in a better place because of it.