Does anyone else have a T who doesn't respond to every email? If so, do you still email between sessions when the need arises or has this put you off emailing at all?

My T responds to some (usually admin related) but doesn't promise she will reply to all. I have sent one or two emotional emails over the last few months which have not recieved a response. I don't want to ask T for a reply; she has made her stance clear.

However, her lack of responses are deeply upsetting at those times. I don't email much at all, maybe every few weeks, and even just a quick 'Thank you' or 'We will talk about this next week' would mean a lot.

I wrote T a letter about my feelings but we didn't really discuss it other than what she said about not replying to all. She did say she felt I wanted more from her during the week which I suppose is true in a way, and her comment on this has left me with a sense of shame that I have not been able to address with her. It feels bad to be needing more from her.

All this has put me off emailing which deep down is probably what T wants. But I can't avoid the deep anger and sadness this has left me with. I have not emailed for a while and certainly not over emotional stuff. Today I feel a deep urge to contact her but I won't because I'm too scared to do so, scared that I'll be behaving wrongly and scared that she won't reply and I'll be left facing those feelings again.

As a note, T is okay with me phoning during the week if I need to so she isn't completely unavailable although it's not something she encourages often.

Some weeks I can manage this but sometimes it makes me feel so miserable. I can't believe I still want to email despite this but her replies mean so much. I wish I hadn't told her at the time how much her replies meant because I fear that is why she has stopped.