Hi Improving, thanks for your post it's really helpful.

Yes, I think if I always recieved a reply it would actualy be easier for me to curb the need because it would feel like a secure arrangement. I think at the moment I simply don't know what is acceptable and my desire for a reply (and not knowing if it will come) actually increases the need to do it. If I could pretty much guarantee a reply, however brief, it would take away the desire in the end, I feel sure.

T hasn't actually said it's okay to email although she hasn't indicated that it isn't either. She always refers to any email in the following session, but I guess my feeling is she would prefer I hadn't sent it or that I'd phoned her instead. I don't always want to bother her by phone though. Some things are best said in written words and don't need a dialogue about, at least not until the session.

I think she would tell me if I was doing something wrong. She seems settled in her boundaries and I trust her to tell me if I was crossing her line. My fear is that one day I will send too many or my email will not be what she deems 'appropriate' and she will stop me sending them.

I don't feel able to discuss this because I will come across as needing her which fills me with shame.

I think an arrangement like you describe would really help me although wouldn't probably take away the need for her to respond. I don't know what will deal with that, I suspect nothing will.

The only way forward is to talk to her but I feel unable to.