Your t needs to be clear on her policy for e-mail and everything else I know how difficult it is to ask for what you need. You have a right to do that. You are paying her for a service and it does no service to you...to not ask for what you need. Perhaps you can write down what you need and how it feels to be rejected (scary, I know).....Try to ignore the shame long enough to write/say what you have here, otherwise you will continue to not get what you want and even feel worse. She needs to be upfront with you, but unless you talk about it that cannot happen. There is no point in you suffering.