In my mind there is one very simple method to deal with this whole issue. Stop emailing her.

There are other, less hurtful, ways for you to keep that attached feeling and deal with the need to see her and make contact.

Whether she is physically with you or not, your therapist is there. Perhaps you could create a shared permanent object, like a stone or something, that you could keep with you as a reminder that she is there.

The feeling that you want to share can be held until the session. There will be a time for them.

I also think that this will give you time to work through your own feelings about things. Write to yourself. Examine what you write. Ask why you feel this way?

I think this is one way out of this situation. I agree, there is absolutely no reason to suffer. It is within your ability to fix it.