CE, I think that your T was trying to get you to see that although you were not solely responsible for the decline of the good group, that your actions have consequences and may have CONTRIBUTED to the decline of the group. Although you may not have INTENDED your hate mail and shouting campaign to contribute to the end of the group by draining your T's emotional energies, I think it was certainly foreseeable.

I am not trying to be unsupportive, but I have not a fan of Pontius Pilate, nor have I ever been. I am all about taking responsibility for my own stuff, owning my contribution to a situation and fixing what I can about myself before slamming other people. I really think your T is giving you an opportunity to grow here by telling you what she did. She is owning HER part of it and giving you a chance to see your part of it.

As for T's being used to being yelled at, and us being allowed to yell at them, I actually agree with that. I have yelled at my T. He did not yell back; he calmly accepted it and asked about it. BUT, and it's a giant but, therapists are human. If a person they are seeking to help is constantly angry at them and sending them hate mail, and is completely unwilling to accept any responsibility for such negative, destructive behavior, it makes perfect sense that the therapist's energies would be drained and she might be unwilling to continue with the group.

I think this is a good learning, growing opportunity, if you're willing to step away from the denial thing.