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Originally Posted by Girlio
He says that he is going to get help. He got online yesterday and researched domestic violence and brought up on his own how he abuses sex for power and said it was wrong when he made me have sex when I didn't want to. He then got very quiet and sad and 'how did I get like this?? how did I become this person?' and I felt bad for him. Time will tell if he will change or if this is just a ploy to keep me holding on. He apologized for everything except hitting me. He said he is not physically abusive because I was a disgusting pill popper when he hit me and I had it coming.  I have 73 days sober today, FYI. |
Good for you in being sober. Its fine you got him to admit some responsibility but this happens frequently with abusers - they apologize, behave super good for a short time until they lose control again. You're both separated - is that correct - this usually means no sex, so I hope he knows his boundaries.
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He apologized for everything except hitting me. He said he is not physically abusive because I was a disgusting pill popper when he hit me and I had it coming.
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The above statement is very telling - he's justifying the abuse. If you were a pill popper, he should have helped you get into a treatment program. Unless its clear self defense, there's no justification for hitting you. The treatment success is also poor for men who abuse, so you need to consider this carefully. It will always be in the back of your mind that he could abuse you again - living a life walking on eggshells.