i feel for you momma. *hugs* i had postpartum depression, during pregnancy depression, on and off depression and it is horrible. it will pass - you've been down before and you will get up again!! it is harder with kids, add in full time work, ughhh - i'm in same boat.

if you can, try to change up your self talk. don't be so hard on yourself it's not fair. it's like double penalty when you already feel horrible and then loathe yourself for feeling that way. finding this site has helped me a lot, i hope will help you too!