There is no minimizing the shock of this discovery, Rj29. You have been depressed for many years and this doesn't help (gross understatement). Recognize this is a genuinely traumatic event. Attempt to take the steps necessary to ensure your own safety. Be as kind as possible to yourself. If necessary, get someone to help you be kind to yourself.

Keep posting here and go to that local support group if you think it helps in any little way.