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Hey guys,
Could really do with some good advice and maybe even a hug.
I am really not feeling the greatest. I am moody, depressed, angry. I have been stupid and really hurt myself. All I have done this week is cry. I just can't stop crying.
I saw my Support Worker today and I told him about the depression. While telling him I started to cry WTF!!! I can't believe I cried in front of him. I feel like such an idiot. He had just said how well I was doing last week too. I don't get it. We talked about work and I said I don't think I am ready for it just yet and he said I am capable of working in time. I just need to get over this wee spell. He said I have done it before and I will do it again.
I know I can get over this but I am tired of getting over it.
I have masked it all and no-one knows bar him about my depression. I live with the folks and they don't know either. My Mum actually said the other day my depression is just selffishness. Why should I bother anymore. I put my "happy" face on for the sake of it. My Support Worker said I am strong and that is why I hide it all...... but it soon comes to surface which is true.
I have had slight sui notions and hurt myself. I just want it to end now so I can be better again. I was doing really well. I am still taking my meds been on them for 3 months solid. World record for me.
I really could do with talking to someone and I thought this was going to happen tonight. My friend and I were meant to be out for dinner. She never returned my text. So meal for 1 again. Have the house to myself for another hour. Been on my own since 1130am and its now 7pm. Minus 2 hours for Support Worker.
Is it ok to cry? I feel like a complete idiot as what do I have to cry about?
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