Forgive yourself?! You were a freaky little weirdo for a purpose; you were doing your very best to protect yourself and help yourself grow (and did a good job of it because here you are!). You grew "crooked" and anemic because you were put in a closet to grow instead of out on the sunny porch. None of that was up to you; you just hung in there (think of the plants growing through concrete or on the side of a windswept, rocky mountain) and kept looking for what you needed to grow, locating that tiny bit of light coming in from under the door and grew towards it.