I saw T yesterday and told him I had thought about cancelling because generally I'm doing well and I really don't know what to talk about in session. He said maybe it is time to take a break from therapy. I had been considering that myself lately, so it was good to hear him say that I am ready to wean off therapy.

He talked to me about the apprehensions that come up when I think about not having that rock to bolster me up. The fear that things will fall apart for me again if I stop therapy. He said I have been to hell and back since we met and of course before that. He knows that I rely on him to be my rock when it seems I have nothing to hold onto.

But he assured me that he isn't going anywhere and I can come back when and if I need to.

As I was getting ready to leave, he asked me when my next appointment is going to be. He said it is fully my decision. Then, he changed his mind a bit. He would like me to come in next week so we can more fully explore my fears about this change, and he wants us to then come up with a plan for reducing the frequency of our visits over time.

A bit scary. I'm not really concerned about "missing" him as much as I fear being without that support system if things go awry. But we'll work on it. I really consider this progress for me. We'll just have to see how it goes in time.