I speak well and am good with words, but when it comes to talking (and not intellectualizing!) about how I really feel, the deep feelings, it is hard for me too, granite, so I understand your rant! words do suck, because sometimes it seems they just aren't adequate to describe what's going on in our heads/hearts. but I think you put a ton of pressure on yourself with trying to use your words, use the right ones ..... maybe just take off some of that pressure and tell yourself it really doesn't matter, that what comes out is what comes out, even if it's clumsy (to you). tell yourself, it just doesn't matter. when you're trying a thing that is new to you, unfamiliar/uncomfortable, that is the way things are ... like when I try to dance, I am just so clumsy and graceless and can't seem to remember the steps, and it makes me feel foolish and stupid. but if I manage to tell myself not to worry so much about making mistakes and not focus on them so hard, then it's much better. maybe this would help you? just let whatever words come, come, and stop judging whether they sound clumsy or whatever. maybe they don't sound that way to T .... you could even ask her that.
I agree with karebear, what she said is awesome. Your instinct is to think others are angry and to react to that, but T is trying to help you understand that isn't always true so you don't have to carry that around with you.