I just realized this is the first time in 3 years since my fiance passed away that I am not alone. Literally.

I have a career. I am surrounded by people. I have PC and others to reach out to.

ALSO, I just remembered that I did NOT lock myself up inside my home in total isolation for almost 8 months after that last ... situation ...

I actually was holding my breath during his last three months of life (it was as if time stood still), and then he passed, and then I stayed at home for almost 2 years.

I tried to get out and be out, remain active and social, but the A just kept getting worse and worse until the other shoe dropped, and then I literally stayed in my home almost 8 months until my career picked up again and I HAD to get out.