I don't know how to label myself, don't know what's wrong. I feel like if I did I would at least feel more secure with myself, or better about it. But that's probably not even true.

I'm so impulsive, making decisions I would never make in a normal state. It happens every day, for a couple of hours. I'll feel really unlike myself, really sexual or really outgoing when I'm normally a very shy person. I feel it getting me into trouble, like when I'm looking at inappropriate stuff online or going into chat rooms and talking to people twice my age when I know that's something you should not do.

I'm losing myself to my mental illness, whatever it may be. It hurts my relationships, and I'm not realizing that it has for a long time now. I'm obsessive, clingy, I do everything to make sure my friends stay with me, because I know I'm not good enough for them to stick around. Maybe if I make them happy enough to be my friend then they will.

I've googled the possible causes of all this, right now I'm convinced I might have Borderline Personality Disorder, but when I try to bring it up to my psychiatrist it doesn't make a difference; I'm sixteen, I can't be diagnosed with anything. Maybe I'm bipolar. Who the hell knows. I am just so sick of this. I want to be normal.

I don't know who I am. I'm so confused about so many things in my life. My sexuality, whether or not I want to be friends with the people I am friends with. Maybe it's teenager stuff, but maybe it's not. All I know is I'm going crazy. And I don't know what to do.. :'(